Coco's Dept. of Homeland Security

Garbage or Food? Find the WMD

2007-04-24T08:54:00.000-04:00

"SHIPPENSBURG, PA -- On April 19, after a day of teaching classes at Shippensburg University, I went out to my car and grabbed a box of old poetry manuscripts from the front seat of my little white Beetle, carried it across the street and put it next to the trashcan outside Wright Hall. The poems were from poetry contests I had been judging and the box was heavy. I had previously left my recycling boxes there and they were always picked up and taken away by the trash department.

A young man from ROTC was watching me as I got into my car and drove away."

So writes a Pennsylvania poetry prof who had the misfortune of being a Muslim.

It's a good thing we're keeping an eye on those dangerous manuscripts. After all, we could be spending our time worrying about tainted pet food. And tainted human food. All courtesy of our bottom line agribusiness and completely pussy whipped FDA.

Happy trails, Molly Ivins (1944-2007)

2007-02-02T14:43:00.000-05:00

Color us greedy

2006-11-10T15:00:00.000-05:00

"It was a thumpin.' "

2006-11-08T17:42:00.000-05:00

Paging Betty Ford

2006-11-06T10:59:00.000-05:00

Our favorite recent quote is from Andrew Sullivan, once a supporter for the Iraq war, who denounced the latest Bush statement on CNN on Wednesday night, stating that the president is so delusional,

"This is not an election anymore, it's an intervention."

2006-09-19T15:42:00.000-04:00

Happy trails, Ann Richards 1933-2006

2006-09-14T08:08:00.000-04:00

Chicks with Dicks

2006-09-13T19:20:00.000-04:00

A big honkin hurray! to The Dixie Chicks who have proven the fecalithic music industry wrong, yet again...and have managed to keep on truckin' without the dubious blessing of mainstream airplay.

Even more thrilling is that Natalie Maines continues to call a spade a spade...or rather a Bush a "dumb fuck," as she does in Barbara (Harlan County) Koppel's
documentary about the Chicks which premiers in Toronto tonight.

2006-09-11T16:39:00.000-04:00

I feel safe as an heiress

2006-09-06T20:03:00.000-04:00

Well, we may be losing the war, but the Commander-in-Chief is looking out for our hedge funds.

Positive thinking

2006-09-02T19:34:00.000-04:00

What's in that bottle, dude?

2006-08-17T11:48:00.000-04:00

This plot is further evidence that the terrorists we face are sophisticated, and constantly changing their tactics... We're dealing with a new enemy that uses new means of attack and new methods to communicate.
~From the President's Radio Address, August 12, 2006

Color me gullible

2006-08-14T10:55:00.000-04:00

Osama is where?

Iraq is still under seige in spite of having killed Al Quaeda's #2

There has been a significant increase in terror incidents, terrorist related deaths, etc. since the "War on Terror" began.

Is George Bush the "War" President or the "Panic President?"
(OK, that's a rhetorical question)
How dumb are we, anyway?

Cheney really is nuts

2006-08-12T07:55:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, Cheney bashed those who voted for Democrat Ned Lamont in the Connecticut Senate primary, claiming that these votes would encourage "al Qaeda types" to think that "they can break the will of the American people."

Read more about BUSH AND CHENEY'S REIGN OF ERROR in the Philadelphia Daily News.

She's baaaaak

2006-08-11T16:25:00.000-04:00

Kiss of death

2006-08-11T12:38:00.000-04:00

Connecticut voters bitch slapped Joe Lieberman last week when they voted for anti-war preppie Ned Lamont in the state Senate primary.

The super santimonious Senator Lieberman now threatens to run as an Independent, but meanwhile the Lamont victory was particularly sweet because voters got to express their feelings about George Bush, once again...and this time the Republicans didn't bother to jerry rig the polls.

There ain't no reins on this one.

2006-08-08T16:48:00.000-04:00

Holy Katz!

It's no wonder we're winning the War on Terror. The US military/industrial complex is just a boiling cauldron of great ideas. Remember the “Love Bomb”? No, not the recruiting technique used by the Unification Church. This “love bomb” was a plan hatched back in '94 at the Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, a chemical aphrodisiac designed to incite widespread homosexual behavior among enemy troops.

The thinking (and is this midwestern or what?) was that rampant gay lust would be fatal to morale. Silly, silly men! Haven't they heard about male bonding?? They already fight for each other.

Another bright idea, rumored to have been around since WWII, was the “”Who Me?“ bomb which simulated flatulence among enemy ranks. Clearly this was a plan ahead of its time, a plan that required a president with the gravitas to implement it. Meanwhile, researchers decided that too many people around the (third) world do not find fecal odor offensive because they are so acccustomed to it.

Hmm. We all know who think theirs don't stink.

Gee-had!

2006-08-05T23:01:00.000-04:00

There's only one way to put an end to terror in the middle East.
Hang on Condi!

Antecedents

2006-08-05T22:53:00.000-04:00

Is that a WMD you're holding behind your back? Rummy and Saddam in '83.

A bigger boom for your bang

2006-08-05T09:43:00.000-04:00

An Army of old people? Why not.

This is just the kind of nifty idea the Bushies and their brain trust would come up with to sell the war to aging boomers. (Scroll down to "Be as old as you can be.")

She walks the line

2006-08-04T14:10:00.000-04:00

Rest easy tonight, fellow citizens, because my dear friend, Scooter, has assumed responsbility for patrolling our Southwestern borders.

Scooter, who is based in Albuquerque, has proven herself worthy of the post. Watch her at work.
It's a fine line, and she walks it.

Bad for the Jews, part deux

2006-08-03T09:25:00.000-04:00

"While Pastor John Hagee, a popular televangelist who leads the 18,000-member Cornerstone Church in San Antonio, Texas...has long prophesized about the end times, he ratcheted up his rhetoric this year with the publication of his book, 'Jerusalem Countdown,' in which he argues that a confrontation with Iran is a necessary precondition for Armageddon and the Second Coming of Christ. In the best-selling book, Hagee insists that the United States must join Israel in a preemptive military strike against Iran to fulfill God's plan for both Israel and the West."

Read more on Alternet about "Lobbying for Armageddon":

Bad for the Jews

2006-08-02T22:01:00.000-04:00

"...Long after Bush is gone from office, Israel will be threatened by a new generation of enemies whose political memory was decisively shaped by these horrible images emerging from Lebanon. At that point, Israelis attempting to make peace with those they must coexist with will recognize that with friends such as Bush and his neoconservative mentors, they would not lack for enemies."

From another good piece by Robert Scheer

Fits me to a tee

2006-07-27T21:46:00.000-04:00

Today's Terror Quiz

2006-07-18T18:45:00.000-04:00

While You Were Out....

2006-07-14T19:07:00.000-04:00

From Carryabigsticker.com

Has This Country Gone Completely Insane?

2006-07-07T22:28:00.000-04:00

Clearly the answer is yes. And just when you think it can't get any nuttier.

Thanks to Doohdle for the link.

...And any of you lawyers out there in the Chicago area, you might want to give the guy a hand if push comes to shove.

In my space

2006-07-07T10:00:00.000-04:00

Internet sexual predation suffered a setback last week when two schoolgirls mugged some poor schmuck who thought he'd go trolling on MySpace.

That's what you call a better mousetrap.

What Me POTUS?

2006-07-06T16:02:00.000-04:00

Is this the next missile to be fired at us by the Bush family?

Hey Oinkers!

2006-07-04T16:50:00.000-04:00

You don't really need another plate of ribs now do you? So before you get barbeque sauce all over those pretty frocks, why not think about fasting for peace

Looking Up

2006-07-04T10:29:00.000-04:00

"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government."

Edward Abbey

Did we say happy Independence day yet?

2006-07-03T19:08:00.000-04:00

Just before the long weekend got underway, Bloomberg.com: Worldwide reported that the National Security Agency began spying on us months before 9/11.

And while this allegation destroys Bush's argument that it was necesssary to invade our privacy to catch evil doers, it also hints at even darker 9/11 conspiracy theories.

Ahoy There, Cornhuskers!

2006-07-03T14:08:00.000-04:00

Thanks to our friends over at SHELLPILE for letting us know
that the midwest is under control thanks to the Nebraska Navy!

This is the kind of vigilance we heartily endorse.

Happy Independence Day!

Let's Throw Some Bras on that Fire

2006-07-01T00:20:00.000-04:00

CNN.com - Flag-burning amendment fails by a vote - Jun 28, 2006

The Devil Wears Bangs?

2006-06-30T12:02:00.000-04:00

Why is George Bush so pissed off at the New York Times? So what if they published the money trail story. The Wall Street Journal scooped them.

More important, didn't Times reporter, Judith Miller, help them make the case for Saddam's WMD?

Maybe she meant WWD. Look at how closely she resembles Anna Wintour.

Although if Anna gets any thinner everyone will mistake her for Joan Didion, not Judy Miller.

Bangs make strange bedfellows.

Hehehe

2006-06-24T00:37:00.000-04:00

Domestic terrorist sentenced! Bush approval ratings skyrocket!

2006-06-23T09:54:00.000-04:00

There will be cause for celebration at the White House now that a dangerously feisty Connecticut tomcat has been confined to his home in a sentencing reminiscent of that other meanace to society, Martha Stewart.

Judge Spares Life of Lewis the Cat

Catster responds to new threat level!

2006-06-23T09:27:00.000-04:00

Sharp eyed felines advise others with a a warning from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security

Walkin' After Midnight

2006-06-22T23:36:00.000-04:00

Current Threat Level: Code Yellow

2006-06-22T23:23:00.000-04:00

The United States remains at an elevated risk for terrorist attack. The Department of Homeland Security continues to analyze intelligence and closely monitor events as they unfold overseas.

Recommended Activities

All Americans should continue to be vigilant, take notice of their surroundings, and report suspicions items or activities to local authorities immediately.

Which is scarier?
	Hezbollah
	The Taliban
	George Bush talking about the pig roast
	Jeb Bush in '08
	Dick Cheney every damn day